The holidays are over, and my youngest has started her first year of school. Look at her, she looks all grown up. It is an end of an era for me, no more stay at home mum, now I go back to work.
I have mixed feelings about it all. But most of all I am excited about all the new changes coming up, a little anxious too, but mainly excited about what work will bring to all of us.
Firstly more money, less pressure for my husband to be the only bread winner, more independence for me, meet new people make new friends, and earn more money so I can buy more art supplies! (Last year I really had to watch what I spent my money on, most of it went into the art class.) So many positive things will come from it!
In the last few weeks I was also thinking about no longer writing my blog, giving up art, because I was feeling the pressure to conform, just concentrate on work and the family. But the weirdest thing kept happening, I kept hearing this voice saying "Keep the dream alive". So after more thinking, and hearing this voice in my head, I thought, no, NO. I will not give it up, I will not leave it till later, I will not forget about my dream, my spirit, I will not shelve it away till it gets all dusty and worn. Even though I haven't kept up with my blogging as I would have liked it too, some nights I am just too tired, blogging and its community has come to mean so much to me, I would miss catching up with all of you, I would miss seeing everyone growing and changing, also I would miss sharing my art with you, unfortunately in my circle of friends i have very few people who get what I do, who understand why it has become so important to me. So I am keeping the dream alive and as Oprah says, live my best life! ;)
So whilst going through all the turmoil of feeling a little down and blue, I made a journal page titled "What makes a house a home?" I felt that after so many years as a stay at home mum I felt very privileged to have had that opportunity, to make a home with my husband and children. And some of the words which came to me were; love, laughter, sharing a meal, cubby houses out of blankets, artworks displayed, music, tea breaks, acceptance, hugs, sanctuary.I found this wonderful artist "Mystele" who paints lovely pictures in mixed media and she is doing a 2 week course which I have joined, very excited about starting it 1st of February, go have a look at her website and if you are interested in her class, I think she has a great presence.
This year for me I don't have a resolution as such but more a promise I have made to my self, to make art which resonates with me, more authentic, even if at first i may stumble and make ugly art! (quite a scary concept for me), but I just want to let go of my inhibitions and open my heart.
One type of painting or drawing I have been interested in is intuitive art/painting, where the artist allows the art to come from another place, inside of themselves.
Let's see where all this will take me!
Thank you all for coming on this journey with me, my blogger friends old and new, it has meant so much to me. Angie ox