I had sooo many questions come up and sooo many possible answers, I felt swamped and stuck, wasn't really sure how to tackle some of my truths, yes I seem to back and forth, and the 'nothing' time has been hard to do this week too, but I have felt a reall need for it, quite space to put it all in order in my mind....
But journaling has really helped with letting it all out no bars held!
Some of the questions that came up this week were...
- I want to become an artist, how can I make this possible?
- Why don't I see myself as an artist already?
- How can I make art as part of my life more?
- What is it that I don't value about what I am doing now?
- Why do I create?
The answers that came after all this questioning was, I don't see myself as an artist because.... I don't sell art, I don't do art daily, other people (family) don't see doing art as of value, feeling like I am waisting my time on too much hobbying. ( then the child in me softly speaks out, but I want to live a life of my own creation - happy, messy stuff, full of quiet, noise, busy, colourfull stuff!)
Rather than seeing the value in what I am trying to achieve....transforming my being into what my life's purpose is, allowing myself to express and grow, exploring and making soul connections, connecting to the authentic self, not being afraid to show my authentic self, even when others may not like it.
So all of these questions swirling in my head for days, but then as I was mopping the floor I realised that yes I am an artist because I create daily, maybe not painting daily, but when I bake a cake the same yearning to create comes in my centre and I have this great urge to want to bake. That urge, that feeling never really leaves me, I always feel it and I love that, because when I first had my daughters I felt like I lost it, but a very good friend of mine did remind me that creating a human being in your body, was 'creative ' enough! Yeah!!! (Must remind myself to be more compassionate with self)
I really loved the idea of doing one thing different daily, changing what I did, so I jumped on our trampoline and sang children's nursery rhymes, sang out loud in the lounge room to "Mamma Mia!" and wrote everything with my left hand for one day (this was a hard one!) Want to do art on my bed, go for a moon lit walk, leave love notes for friends and family to find mysteriously, maybe walk backwards around the house! Hehehe.
What are you trying differently today? Let your creative side out to play, have some fun! All the best with next weeks chapter "Risk", I don't know about you but it feels like its getting harder each week as we get more into this, just need to be more compassionate with self, its o.k. still learning the ropes of how to bring more joy in! Angie ox
I agree with you about how we and others perceive us affects whether we see ourselves as artists. Right now I see myself as making art - not being an artist! I want that to change.
ReplyDeleteLoved the idea of what you did to make changes!
Keep going!
You are doing an amazing job with this book! Look at all of the discoveries. You are uncovering your authentic self. You are turning the light around and shining the beautiful *YOU* that is within. I read the "Risk" chapter and found it to be a good chapter. I guess because I have taken risks and faced fears, many of them in the last year. As I set out to take risks this week, I'm starting with listing and reflecting upon the risks that I have taken in the last year, 5 years, 10 years, and 20 years. I'm noticing how I felt and the results. This will give me the courage to continue taking risks and to put into perspective things that may not be as risky as I first thought. Have a great week.
ReplyDeleteLovely post! One thing I did different today, was grant myself the time to read some more blog posts while I've got so much work to do. I agree that we need to cut ourselves some slack and realise that we're already doing a great job being creative. I liked the mentioning of the creation of human life, I hope that someday I'll have the privilige of being a parent too (I'm still to young for that now.) Have a fun week!
ReplyDeleteYes, certainly be more compassionate with yourself.... thus far, you have a wonderful attitude! I love how your definition of creativity has evolved... beautiful!
ReplyDeletethis is a wonderful post....you actually offered me a lot of encouragement
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Angie and you are an artist! You do amazing work!
ReplyDeleteI know that many family members think of my art as a nice little hobby in my retirement. But it's not. I do sell some, but my passion goes much deeper than that. I feel like my life has been transformed by it, that I'm on to something. I see that our journeys are running parallel paths - many of us here. It's a great group to be part of and I appreciate your sharing how it is going for you. Keep reminding yourself that you ARE an artist on many many levels. And find the supports you need to help remind you when you start doubting. Community can be great.
ReplyDeleteHmm - lost my comment. You are already the artist Angie. My family weren't supportive of me at all until I refused to flinch and with quiet resolution continued on my path. You don't need to prove yourself to them... But to yourself first. Courage dearie!!
ReplyDelete